DOES DEPRESSION ALWAYS LEAD TO SUICIDE?

Hey crazies, its me again and i know its been a while since i came on here but i have just been through an ordeal. So anyways back to the crazy at hand. As you can see from my header. Today's topic is going to be a little dark. So this is a thing i have been thinking about because at the stage we are in, suicide is a little on the high side and its really sad because i am sure everyone that has ever had someone special to them that has committed suicide wishes they could have done something different or said something different to save the person.

Has any one ever been threatened by someone they love that said person used suicide as a threat? I am asking this because this happened to me recently and it has messed me up seriously.

So to fully understand and grasp the situation i am in right now, you have to know the full story. so i am going to rewind and get you all updated from the beginning.

So today's crazy is about my sister--my older sister. We are going to call her Jenna, Jenna has always been boy crazy, from when we were kids. She had her first boyfriend in junior secondary school and from when she was young she had always been dramatic; no one could talk to her without her flaring up. So fast forwarded to years into the future and we are all kinda adults now and Jenna is dating her on and off boyfriend of three years. I never liked the guy because he looked shady but i never really judged because i didn't really know him. All i knew about their relationship was that he was a little violent and we all pleaded with her to leave him.

Jenna refused and she stayed with him all of her college years, After school, she finally got the courage and dumped his ass but i could tell that he had messed her up. There was something different about her, she suddenly dated different guys, i don't even think she was interested in love anymore, they were all meaningless to her. Now Jenna meets a guy called Jerry and by chance i meet him too, this is just a fresh relationship that i don't even understand but somehow she tells everyone in the family that she is pregnant.

She also has this believe that a baby at the age of 25 with no father in the picture would be the best thing for her, but no one else saw it that way. Everyone was besides themselves and i tried to reason with her.....she finally gave in and did the best thing for the situation which was to abort the baby. 

This made Jenna sad....she shut down on everyone and then she started drinking a lot, i blamed myself because i talked her into the whole abortion but i was trying to be rational, we live in a country where you'd be crucified for such a thing and we don't really have the means for a baby. I did what i though was best.

It might have been the wrong thing but i only did it out of love.

Jenna didn't see it that way, she hated me and my other sister, she blamed us for her problems and that's how the whole suicide threat came up.

She sent a message, saying she was tired of the world and leaving wouldn't be such a bad idea. That ripped me up to shreds even though a part of me knew she wasn't going to do it but the fact that she even thought about it still haunts me till date.

So guys, i am going to stop at this point because i don't know how this will end; all i know is that she is getting the help she needs for her depression and alcoholism. A lot of people don't get the chance to get help and its a problem we are facing.

So crazies, its always important to watch what you say and who you say it to and don't hurt the ones you love because it is the little things that destroy the biggest mountains.

Till next time, crazy you later.

Heartbreak.

New day, new beginning.

Hi Crazies, I am back again....crazier than ever. Nothing exciting has happened to me and the year is almost over. It's december and i have come to the conclusion that i have not accomplished anything this year.

Absolutely nothing!!!!!!
So this is nothing about what i have and have not accomplished. This isn't about my failures in life. This is all about fun, relatable fun with other crazy people out there.
So let's delve into today's topic.

HOW DO YOU HANDLE A BAD BREAKUP?

I have been in my fair share of bad break ups. i have had my heart brokenn a million times that at this point it is probably sheltered to peieces in my chest.

I'm going to tell you guys  story; a story of how i got my heart broken and how i handled it. lemme just tell you that i never handle my break ups well. I always over analyse,, over think and get like messed up emotionally. Now the reason why i am going to pick this story out of my numberous heartbreaks is because this is the one that hurt the most....i think.
So we are going to call the man of the hour ''Joe''. Now Joe was a sweetheart. The definition Man of your dreams. I met joe when i was in university. We had a few classes together, i remmeber what even hooked my attention to him.
He had this crinkle on his face whenever he smiled. They were not dimples, kinda like his face smiled along with his mouth--that probably sounds crazy.
LOL.
Anyways, Joe used to sit next to me in class and he always had this notebook that he carried with him everywhere. He was always doodling in it too and i was always curious about what he was writing.

He always had a dreamy expression on his face whenever he was with his notebook; it always made me curious and a little jealous. I wished he'd look at me with that expression, i wish he'd see me and realise that i had been there all along.
So Joe was always next to me in class, he was always friendly. He always had a smile on his face and it always melted up my heart.
Now i am going to share something with you about the real me--the me i have kept from you guys. I am plus sized. Yeah I am big. So i have always been sensitive about how i look and what i wear, i have never really felt good enough for guys i have been with. I never really felt comfortable with guys as more than friends but it was very different with Joe; he'd look at me and my cheeks will redden and then he will utter the same words to me every single day we had class togehter.
'' Hi there beautiful ''
And every time he uttered those words, i felt like i was high up in the sky floating.

So i alway waited for him to get to class, i'd wait for him to slide in the seat next to me and then i'd wait for him to call me beautiful. After some months of the same back and forth, i knew i had genuine feelings for Joe but he wasn't making a move and that made me depressed.
I tried to dress up for him; i even put on makeup but he didn't seem to notice my advances. That sucked royally and i was frustrated.
On a saturday--i think, i went for a movie with my roommate back then and then there he was; in all his glory and all his smile and happiness. i remember hitting her shoulder. we should call my roommate Joyce. so i remember hitting Joyce and telling her that he was the one. I remember him walking up to us....i remember him saying i looked beautiful--no one had ever thought i looked beautiful. He joined us for our movie, we watched a comedy. It was the best day ever.
I didn't want it to end.
Until it did.
The next week in class joe asked for my number, i was ecstatic. on top of the moon and over it. This was a man i had wanted from the first moment i met him and he was finally coming around.
We started dating a month later.

He died two months after.

One of the things he left was his notebook. And i finally saw what was in it and i realised they all drawings....drawings of.
ME.




So it is safe to say i didn't handle that break up well. i delved into FOOD. Every Time i remember him and i start to cry i eat a slice of cake, candy, some ice cream. I put on a lot of extra weight because of Joe.
So now guys, tell me how you handled your own heartbreaks.
Till later.
Crazies.